Week of Obnoxiousness: Green & Black's Dark 70%

Tornado Shelter Selfie!

Well, if I were any less skeptical I’d be looking to astrology for answers. Not that I’ve had the worst week, because I haven’t, but still. It’s been a uniquely strange few days, replete with medical complications, emotional roller-coasters, and natural disasters (Oh, my!).

It started out innocuously enough, with a comically unfortunate showing of “Singing in the Rain” at the local AMC Theater. The theater staff actually forgot to play the film, forcing us to listen to a selection of truly horrifying elevator music until Andrew finally got up to find a staff member 6 minutes after the film was supposed to start. When they finally started the film, we got to see them pull it up on pay-per-view (no joke! Check out the picture!) fast-forward through all of the pre-show content and previews that we were supposed to be watching instead of listening to the awful elevator music, and then they neglected to dim the lights in the theater. *sigh* Well, at least the show was still fun. 

 ... except that two thirds of the way through we were interrupted by a tornado warning, commenced the most leisurely evacuation I've ever seen, and had to spend 20 minutes in the industrial, concrete-reinforced back hallways of the mall until they let us out just in time to see the last 30 seconds of our film. Feeling dissatisfied, we decided to go across the hall to see the last 15 minutes of “Moana” to make up for our truncated main feature, but about a minute after we sat down, the show mysteriously blipped out, and the screen went black to very loud protestations from the audience. And then the 3D showing of “Sing” that we picked as our third choice viewing wound up not being 3D at all (although the two thirds of it we saw was surprisingly cute). Fortunately we’re a good-natured bunch, and we ultimately had a really good time.

 

The weirdness accelerated on Monday, though, when Andrew’s father checked himself into the hospital with chest pains, and they found his blood pressure was inexplicably and dangerously high. Andrew spent the evening at the hospital with his parents, playing Pavarotti for his dad and generally being sweet, but without any real explanations or answers, waiting for things to stabilize.

On Tuesday I got a phone call from my mother (who lives with me now - post on that coming up soon) on my lunch break, asking if I’d seen her car parked outside the apartment building when I’d left for work that morning, because it absolutely wasn’t in the parking lot any more, and that afternoon I had a friend and co-worker rush out of the office early because his baby daughter had been unexpectedly admitted to the hospital.

That night, in an amazing display of synchronized ding-bat-ness, I decided to stay the night at Andrew’s apartment, and then we both accidentally neglected to set our alarms, leading us to oversleep by almost an hour on Wednesday. I was also terrifically awful at the post-work game of pool on Thursday, Andrew's beloved ear buds broke, my sister came down with the flu, I twisted my ankle on my morning run, and my mother had an episode of something that was either some sort of really awful freak drunkenness or food poisoning after a single shot of vodka.

All the endings were reasonably happy – the tornadoes didn’t destroy anything beyond some highway signs and a few chimneys, both Andrew’s dad and my co-worker’s daughter are taken care of and happily restored to their homes, my mom successfully retrieved her car from the tow lot, and no important meetings were missed by our oversleeping.

In the book I’m reading, a couple of brilliant psychologists note that the human mind is typically reluctant to acknowledge that patterns always happen within the context of larger, random happenings. We think of “random” as looking a particular way (chaotic, disorderly, etc.), and whenever things happen in groups or patterns, we look for logical explanations, because we can’t fathom how an entire week could be super bizarre just because life worked out that way for a few consecutive days. I can only assume that chance has made the past few days suck as badly as they have – otherwise I may just have to start paying attention to my horoscope. In the meantime, though, I’ll simply turn to the healing power of chocolate to get me through to the weekend. This is one of my personal favorite snacking chocolates that I discovered when making birthday truffles for Andrew last year. It’s not mind-blowing, just a good, hearty, clean chocolate flavor for when you need to clear your head and just focus on something other than the cat destroying the sofa cover and the fact that you woke up with an inexplicable headache. 

Still, bonne chance, everyone - just in case the stars are feeling cranky. (At least it's Friday!)

Item: DARK 70%
Percentage: 70% (Duh.)

Made By: Green & Black's
Made In: Poland

Purchased At: Whole Foods in Arlington
Price: $5

Review: Green & Black's, like Divine, is good, hearty snacking chocolate. This bar, from their Organic line, is a little more complex than the Divine 70%, but doesn't melt quite as nicely, and they're very comparable. The primary difference between the two is that Divine uses a bit more cocoa butter, making it a bit softer and melty-er, while Green & Black's Organic line A) is organic, and B) uses raw cane sugar instead of the white refined stuff. The price point is the same, the flavor is comparable, and both companies invest in sustainable farming and use only ethically sourced cacao, but the organic factor tends to tip the scales in favor of G&B's. The wrapper touts the bar's "fine Trinitario cacao beans, providing complex fruity notes and intense bittersweet chocolate aromas," but I wouldn't take it too seriously - it's mostly just good, straight-up chocolate. The chocolate flavor here is good and strong, but also falls a bit more on the sweeter, fruitier end of the scale, which makes it great for pairing with coffee or other substantial partners since it won't overpower them. This is also my go-to chocolate for making truffles. (I have a scotch truffle recipe that I could be convinced to share if anyone is looking for one.)  I also really appreciate the note on the back specifying that it's "Suitable for vegetarians" (meaning no white sugar!).

RECOMMEND

With love,
 - K 

Christmas Cheer: Dark Chocolate Cinnamon, Chili & Nibs

Really excellent chocolate makes the perfect Christmas gift. There’s more or less infinite variety, so you can find something for everyone, it’s delicious, something people don’t typically buy for themselves, and it’s a consumable, so they won’t have to carry it around for the rest of their lives. It requires no storage, wrangling, organizing, maintenance, batteries, assembly, or remembering to take it to a store and use it up.

So, over the course of the year I’ll pick up various other presents for the people I love. A piece of art for so-and-so, a book that screams to belong to what’s-his-name… In December, though, my research starts in earnest. I look at best-of articles for the year, scour the lists from local directories and chocolate shows, and peruse the selections of chocolatiers, both local and in other parts of the country, trying to locate the perfect, most excellent, enjoyable, preferably local, creative selection. Last year it was the inimitable Dude, Sweet Chocolate in downtown Fort Worth.

This year, after much deliberation, I settled on Kate Weiser, who has her flagship store in the swanky Trinity Groves shopping center in Dallas. After all, who couldn’t use a little something beautiful under the tree after this crazy year?

Kate Weiser makes what can only be described as art chocolate. Her work is gorgeous, creative, and whimsical in a deeply satisfying way. I have never had this much fun wrapping presents, you guys. Carl the drinking chocolate snowman sits in a pot of hot milk, melting away and releasing gorgeous clouds of hot chocolate mix from his tummy and marshmallows from his head, finally furnishing drinking chocolate for 4-6 people. There have also been white chocolate, peppermint, and chipotle versions of Carl in the past. She creates beautiful, truffle-stuffed chocolate ornaments, decked with gold leaf and saturated with the most beautiful blues and pinks and light greens you’ve ever seen in a chocolate shop. Her truffles are incredibly distinctive, ranging from the tame but solid orange butterscotch to the more outrageous dark chocolate and Japanese lime or the daring mango habanero. And her candy bars (like the Passion Praline! Yummmmm...) make the most beautiful stocking stuffers you’ll ever find.

It was a thoroughly magical Christmas. After Andrew and I madly worked through the last few edits for the Isaacs-Bryant Family Cookbook (my other big Christmas gift - thank you for all your help, my dear!), my mother and I joined him and his delightful family for their celebration; we sang, we laughed, we drank lots of wine and made delicious food and danced in crazed circles around the kitchen to joyous Irish Christmas reels (that was mostly me and mom, tbh). Fortunately I wasn’t the only one with the terrific idea of giving chocolate for Christmas – I received no fewer than five different chocolate bars. The most interesting, though, was a Redstone’s bar that I received from Andrew’s brother, Alex. Andrew had given him the terrific advice of sticking to 70% or higher on the cacao content (a really good guideline!), and, in a fit of inspiration, one of the bars Alex picked up for me was laced with cinnamon and chili. I guess I’ve got a reputation for gravitating towards the spicy stuff.

Here’s hoping your 2016 Christmas was every bit as delightful and chocolatey as ours!

Photo Credit: Redstone Foods

Item: Dark Chocolate Cinnamon, Chili & Nibs
Percentage: 72%

Made By: Redstone's
Made In: Carrolton, TX 

Purchased At/Price: Christmas gift!

Review: They’re not trying for too much subtlety here, but the result is excellent execution and a thoroughly enjoyable bar. There’s plenty of heat, with a clear, unmuddy balance between the cinnamon and chili flavors. The cocoa nibs are another success story here – in many bars they’re just simply too big, too hard, or otherwise obnoxious, but here they’re perfect. Toasty, dark, crunchy bits that don’t shatter your teeth or taste burnt, don’t disrupt the experience of the bar, and overall add a nice complement to the smoky, dark heat of the bar. The chocolate flavor isn’t the star of the show here, but it’s good and clean enough to provide a nice backdrop for everything else going on. This one could even be a little (prepare yourselves) sweeter and it would be a lovely contrast to the heat, and could definitely stand a few flakes of sea salt, but it’s still very well done as it is, though. Overall, this is an elegant practice in things being exactly enough – exactly enough heat, enough cinnamon, enough nibs, enough sweetness, enough brute chocolate flavor – to be thoroughly enjoyable. One important caveat - the cinnamon and chili flavors are both super strong, so if you're not a fan then I'd steer clear.

Well done, Alex. Way to capture the Christmas spirit.

RECOMMEND
 
With love,
 - K 

The Calamitous Campaign: Super Dark Coconut Ash & Banana

I am a singularly blessed human being for many reasons - being born to a loving, attentive, well-educated family with great taste in food and a penchant for sci-fi is a pretty darn good deal. Being a reasonably attractive white, middle-class gal in the richest country on earth, also stacks the deck in my favor pretty heavily. I've also been blessed with great friends, and a staggeringly charmed work history. In fact, in my 8+ years in the workforce, I've never dreaded going to work. I've never had a single job that I didn't like, work that I didn't enjoy, or boss that I didn't get along with. 

In other words, something eventually had to give. 

Photo & Design Credit: Nathan Myers

The past two weeks have been so tremendously, comically awful, that I have to believe there's been some kind of radical, cathartic readjustment of my karmic balance. It's made more fascinating by the fact that running the annual United Way Campaign is something I look forward to all year long and is one of my very favorite parts of my job. The universe has a particularly bleak sense of humor sometimes. 

Even before the campaign began, it had already adopted a tone of gloom and disaster - our big plans for a softball tournament were quashed when our field reservation was summarily canceled by the City of Grand Prairie, one of my planning team members had to undergo emergency surgery, leaving us shorthanded for several events, and one of my campaign leads suffered a tragic, unexpected death in her immediate family.

After the campaign started, we had dismal turnout for one event after another, a reporting breakdown, confusion with the online pledging system, the dunk tank was damaged by previous renters, the big grill was mysteriously reclaimed by its previous owner and nowhere to be found, no one brought anything to the bake sale despite it being an annual tradition for almost a decade, we suffered supply shortages, lack of enthusiasm and volunteers, over-communication, under-communication, scheduling mishaps, late starts, missing pieces... Basically one calamity after another. In fact, in our two weeks of "fun," there wasn't a single event or activity that didn't have some kind of tragedy, complication, or disappointment attached to it.

And finally, on our last day of the campaign, I went to the refrigerator to take inventory for our afternoon nacho bar, only to find that the over-zealous cleaning crew threw out all of the food for the event. All of it. The fridge, which had previously been home to a quart of frozen fajita meat, two bags of shredded cheese, two unopened jugs of salsa, a bag of shredded lettuce, and half a pot of beans (in my mother's pressure cooker, no less), stood there, gleaming, as pristine and empty as if it had been delivered that morning. 

And then the fire alarm went off.

Perfect. 

Still, with the help of a small team of stalwart, generous, adaptable, and determinedly good-natured volunteers, the campaign is concluded having successfully raised more than $9,000 for good works in Tarrant County ($18k, counting the matching funds), and I'm more than ready to move on with the rest of my life. I'm immensely grateful that on Monday I get to put away the flamingo decorations, disassemble the jail cell, and apply my energies to chasing down customer loyalty surveys, writing that Amarillo grant, organizing the next set of volunteer events, planning that Louisiana workshop, setting up interviews for our next batch of interns, composing a perky, upbeat Campaign write-up for the newsletter, eating lots and lots of chocolate, and looking forward to next year's campaign. God knows it has to be better than this one.

It was a worthy battle. I'm glad I did it. THANK GOD IT'S OVER. 

*sigh*

Time for chocolate.

Item: Super Dark Coconut Ash & Banana
Percentage: 72%

Made By: Vosges
Made In: Chicago, IL
Purchased At/Price: Gift (but retail is $8 - this is the good stuff)

Review: The Vosges Super Dark line is a fascinating and somewhat intimidating collection of "SUPER FOODS + DARK CHOCOLATE." The chocolate itself if great, with a really dense, clean chocolate flavor. The banana is both unusual and pretty dominant, with tiny, barely-there flecks of crunch distributed throughout the otherwise smooth, straightforward chocolate. This is not a busy bar. There's also a great ashy aftertaste which is very subtle and quite likely an acquired taste. It's just a hint, but it adds a savory note to the flavor profile. This really comes across as a chocolate and banana bar, but the coconut ash adds a little somethin'-somethin' that's quite nice. Also, my main squeeze informed me that he tastes far more coconut than banana, so I'm not totally sure what gives. The package informs me the health benefits are simply off the charts, though, so regardless it's probably a good thing to be eating.
 
RECOMMEND

With love,
 - K 

NOLA 'Til You Die!: Bourbon Cask Aged Dark

Happy New Year! 
Also, happy 28th birthday to me!

As it so happens, my birthday conveniently falls on one of the biggest party days of the year. New Year's Eve birthdays aren't that uncommon, really - I've met probably half a dozen other people who share my birthday, including one aunt, two coworkers, and a neighbor, as well as Ben Kingsley, Henri Matisse, and John Denver (none of whom I've actually met, but I'd like to think sharing a birthday makes us honorary friends). 

Aside from the dreaded birthday/Christmas present combo (which really doesn't bother me. Truly, I have enough stuff already), there are three primary reasons why I absolutely love my birthday: 
  - I always have the next day off, along with most of the rest of the world, so I never have to worry about staying up too late, rescheduling festivities, or not having a recovery day. 
  - I never have to throw my own birthday parties. Everyone is already in the mood to celebrate, so there are plenty of options for celebrations to crash with minimal hassle. 
  - It provides a lovely clean start to the year. New year for the world, new year for me!

Usually I prefer to let my birthday play second fiddle to the calendar's (it has seniority, after all), but this year I was feeling feisty and wanted to do something special, so Mignon found us a couple of tickets to New Orleans, booked beds at a hostel, and we headed out for the home of Cajun food and street jazz.

There is a wonderful Tennessee Williams quote which gets a great deal of mileage in the multitudinous NOLA gift shops: "America has only three cities: New York, San Francisco, and New Orleans. Everywhere else is Cleveland." Although I've never been to Cleveland, I can see where there is some truth behind Williams' playful hyperbole. As someone who has spent a lot of time in various American cities, most of them can be mistaken for each other relatively easily aside from a few tell-tale signs. Not so with New Orleans. 

From the voodoo shops and beautiful old houses with the wooden shutters, to the trolleys with the faulty light fixtures and the drag queens hollering about drink specials on Bourbon Street, New Orleans has a feeling all of its own. Unlike most places, which sometimes seem manufacture culture out of hoodies and coffee table books, here it seems to boil up from under the sidewalks and breath through the shutters and unruly window-boxes of the colonial-style buildings, and everything from the gift shops to the abundance of horn players seems to have sprung into existence spontaneously to preach the gospel of this place.   

 
We wandered the streets and antique shops of the Garden District, where the shopkeepers speak French, a quiet, old world culture still hums, and the sidewalks are in the process of performing a quiet disappearing act, slowly eaten away by the roots of the beautiful, ancient trees under their blankets of moss. We ate beignets at Cafe Du Monde, walked along the bank of the Mississippi, and meandered the aisles of the bewitching Beckham's Bookshop - a second-hand bookstore on Decatur with such delightful genre titles as "True Crime & Rascality," where the old man who runs the place sits up front with his book and pencil in hand, quietly marking prices and guiding people through the mis-matched, labyrinthine aisles of the store. 

We capped our visit with a magnificent Creole feast at the Gumbo Shop, with black beans and rice, corn, creamed spinach, gumbo, and bourbon bread pudding; we ate until we were full to bursting, went back to Cafe Du Monde and ate some more, and then went and fed our spirits with a long night of jazz at the Spotted Cat.

Above all, New Orleans is entirely unapologetic. It exists exactly as itself, with no accommodations or excuses; there is no scrubbed, sterilized tourist experience here. The streets are dirty, the parties unruly, the homeless mingle freely with the crowds everywhere you go. As it hums with the bone-deep history of a culture which found itself long ago, no concessions are made for your comfort as an outsider - NOLA has a life to live, and you are in her house.

There are more praline shops than I could count, and you can buy liquor in any corner store or Walgreens, but, alas, New Orleans is not know for its chocolate. Fortunately, my sweetie provided just the thing: bourbon barrel aged chocolate from the heart of Brooklyn, New Orleans' brassy spiritual cousin. The dark, boozy bar was just the thing to complement our explorations of the city. 

Photo Credit: chocolatepath.com

We didn't stay in Louisiana for New Year's Eve, although I'm sure the NYE party on Bourbon Street is second only to Mardi Gras. It didn't feel right to be away from home for the start of the year. So, we returned to Texas on the afternoon of the 31st for a more local birthday/New Year's Eve celebration. After a truly endearing party with balloons, party games, ginger beer, a purple tiara, and a hatchet (wait, whaaaat?), we headed into Fort Worth to watch the fireworks at Sundance Square, and I got to ring in the new year with some of my very favorite people in the whole world. 

I don't tend to believe in resolutions, but I do have some goals for the year; I'd like to be more generous to my friends with my time and energy. I'd like to spend more time on writing and music. I'd like to travel. Talk less about the weather and more about life, the universe, and everything. Be more diligent about practicing yoga, gratitude, and guitar. Maybe look into going back to school. 

I love this life so very much. 2016 is going to be a good one, guys. I can feel it.


Item: Bourbon Cask Aged
Percentage: 82%

Made By: Raaka
Made In: Brooklyn, NY
Purchased At/Price: (Gift)

Review: At 82%, this bar is pretty stiff - not for the faint of heart. Still, it's quite rich, melts smoothly, and the bourbon/chocolate pairing is a match a made in heaven. This is particularly fruity, tough chocolate with a strong, clean bourbon finish - very good stuff. There is actually no alcohol in this bar, which makes the flavoring even more remarkable - the beans are simply aged for four weeks in bourbon barrels, where they take on some of the boozy, woodsy flavor the previous tenant. That said, several other folks who tried it said they didn't get as much bourbon flavor as I did, so maybe I was just looking for it.I haven't tried much un-roasted (or "virgin") chocolate, but it does seem to give the beans some room to retain their character. Must experiment further. 

RECOMMEND

With love,
 - K